Closer to big 30

Obligatory photo taken in Siayan, Zamboanga del Norte. 

Work is (almost) over. It's time to respond to birthday greetings and messages from family and friends who have been asking how I spent my birthday and what I am up to now. 

I spent it (mostly) alone. Well, what’s new, right? :P

On my birthday, I was fortunate to spend it in Iloilo, a place I consider home.  

Early in the morning, I went for a swim in Iloilo's Sports Complex and went back to the hotel soon after the pool caretaker caught me using the pool without a head cap. Later in the afternoon, I met my friend for late lunch, had coffee at Madge. In the evening, I went to Jaro Church, one of the oldest churches in Iloilo, before going back to the hotel where I was staying. 

Madge Cafe - the oldest coffee shop in Iloilo. 

That was it - nothing grand, as always. I never wanted it to be grand anyway. I want it simply simple. 

Is this what you get when you are about to hit the big 30? haha. 

Seriously, I had the best time looking back my adventures and misadventures over the past years. As I look back, what stands out the most were those moments were I had hard time dealing with – the hardship, struggles and rejections I experienced, more than the adventures, dares and travels I had. (I know this is weird but I am not saying I didn't enjoy all my adventures.)

On my early 20s, my parents handed me the responsibility of being a breadwinner after my father had his gall bladder operation and, soon after, he was diagnosed with colon cancer. Life has been tough since then especially when you are running for time for your family, your job and for yourself.

On my late 20s, I had trouble of myself. I had serious doubts as opportunities become so elusive while others get the job they want on a silver platter. 

And it was also on the same year when my dear friend was fighting for her life. She passed away five days after I visited her, after my solo trip to Vietnam and Cambodia. (Read the story here: http://maizamora-storytellerandlonetraveler.blogspot.com/2014/11/til-next-time-siem-reap.html)

On my last visit before she died, she was already frail and I never had the chance to hear her talk. I know I was way too late.  And this year is the first time for me not to hear her tease me with harsh birthday message. (Read the story here: http://maizamora-storytellerandlonetraveler.blogspot.com/2015/01/blog-post.html)

Life is tough, right? I thought my friend’s death was the last painful change that I will be dealing for this decade. I thought that soon after God will reward and surprise me.

He actually did.

Early this year, I resigned from World Vision where I had been working for over six years,  after receiving an appointment from one of the agencies of  United Nations and signed my contract three days after it. All those times, I was excited to live my dream - to be working with United Nations and be based in North Cotabato, at the southern part of Mindanao.

But that dream was taken back from me sooner that I never expected.

A phone call from UN changed everything.

UN called informing that they could no longer hire me due to budget constraints. I was on panic. Who would not, right?

So I am jobless after May 29 this year.

And worst, on the same day, I received a phone call from home - my mother was confined and that she has to undergo a cervical procedure really soon.

How would you face it? Tough right?

I cried buckets in every challenges/ struggles. But in one of the hardships, I was sobbing almost every minute - after waking up, break time at work, noon break, afternoon break, bed time and in the middle of the night. That was the worst by far.

But as I looked back, I realized that all those experiences - mocking from bashers, rejection, hardships and suffering – gave me my major breakthroughs.

I may not have everything I want and my plans may have not work the way I wanted, but I got gems that have been my shield and armour. Whatever life throws at me and wherever life takes me, I bring these gems with me wherever I go:

•       Never settle for less, dream big! Never give up even if things turn out the way you did not expect it.   As Joel Osteen said, “Your best days are not behind you. They are in front of you. Keep pressing forward.” 

•       When you thought things go wrong, travel alone and be with nature. This quote from Albert Einstein really speaks to me - ‘Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.’

at one of the temples in Siem Reap, Cambodia

•       For me, drastic changes and heartaches came major breakthrough.  Learn and be thrilled on what is in store for you.

•       Life is a daring adventure or nothing  - Hellen Keller. Make and do your bucket list while you are young. My grandfather's first time to ride a plane and be in Boracay was when he was on his 70s. He barely cannot walk and preferred to stay in the hotel instead.

•       Travel to space out for a well-deserved ‘Me Time’. Travel is therapeutic. It heals and makes you understand everything better because once in a while we have to be distant to the voices of the world, to hear our own and our God.

Here is another one taken with London Eye at my back. 

•       Traveling leaves marks - be it on your body or heart. Mountains left me dead toenails; cliff diving let me face my fear; and in one of my travels, I met the person who made me believe in fairytale. We did not end up being together though. 

•       Show compassion! Know that everyone is carrying its cross. Be nice. (I most of the time fail to be nice.)

•       Never burn bridges, especially at work.  We run in circles, you might end up asking favor to the one you hated the most.

•       "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways," declares the Lord - Isaiah 55:8. I had been so stubborn but through the years, I realised, to let Him be in control and asked Him to lead me where I am needed.

•       There is a season for everything. Never be tired to wait for your season. It will surely come. Claim it!

•        For I know I have plans for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  - Jeremiah 29:11

•       Every time I feel terribly bad, I think of people I met while on assignment - those people and even children whose life turned upside down, may it be because of disaster or situation they did not expect coming.  It is to remind me to remain standing and to survive. 

•       Be a smart spender. Invest and start young. 

• Whatever happens, keep your core. Integrity is everything. I have sacrificed my happiness for integrity, for so many times, and I never regret choosing what I believe is right.

The famous bridge in Biliran

•       Believe in yourself. I know this is cliché but who will believe in you if you don’t have confidence in yourself?

•       Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it. - Joyce Meyer 

•       Take time to be with the people who value you. They will always have your back.

Got these from the books I read, wisdom from people – friends, mentors and strangers I met during my travels- and lessons from my own adventures and misadventures.

After all, with all I went through, I promised myself to celebrate every year, that's the best way to do it.  And I do not think I can be victorious facing my cross if not with good people, from all over the world - family, workmates and mentors – that surround me. I am blessed I have support system and prayer warriors. 

And of course, how could I forget my bashers who always remind and push me to be always my best me.

Now, I am 29. I am year wiser. I am ready to face another decade despite uncertainties. I am ready for you big 30. I know my preparation is too early but it is better to be ready than sorry. Haha.

And whoops, I almost forget this - I have not been into a relationship and have not experience holding hands with malice yet,  but, still,  I believe in ‘true love waits’.  haha

Mount Kanlaon in Negros Occidental.

Thoughts came out while climbing Mount Kanlaon in Negros, a week before my birthday; while staying Vista Inn, the hotel I usually stay when in Iloilo, on my birthday; and a week after, while enjoying the beauty of Sicogon Island and even while on a jeepey or taxi roaming around Iloilo.

The pristine Sicogon Island in Iloilo.